Bachelorx: A Journey Beyond the Binary

A 60-something nonbinary plural person abruptly leaves a 35 year marriage to go on the apps and date, bringing along all their very vocal and vulnerable personalities.

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A Queer Manifesto, a Comedy, a Dating Journey after a 35 Year Marriage

Bachelorx is the latest book by award-winning queer, nonbinary author, filmmaker, and performer Skylar Lyralen Kaye (fae/they). Their work explores queer relationships and identity, gender expansiveness, and the ways people form families – both chosen and inherited.

The book follows Kaye, depicted through the protagonist Orpheus, newly single after a decades-long queer marriage, as they naively step into the challenges of contemporary online dating later in life. Orpheus experiences their inner life as made up of multiple voices, all of which are present as queer relationships unfold. The book traces attraction, desire, conflict, humour, and care as they are experienced across this plural inner world, offering a vivid and often funny portrait of queer intimacy.

At its core, Bachelorx takes an affirming stance: being gender nonconforming and multiple is not a problem to be solved. The book treats both gender and plurality as a meaningful way of being, shaped by experiences and relationships.

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Bachelorx Visual Highlights

The Search for Love and Sex

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Skylar Lyralen Kaye

Skylar Lyralen Kaye, fae/they is a queer social justice and award-winning writer as well as a lifelong activist. They have a BA in English from the University of Arizona and an MFA in Theater from Sarah Lawrence College. Kaye was nominated for a Pushcart Prize in Fiction in 1997 and was a finalist for the 2005 Massachusetts Cultural Council of the Arts Awards in Playwriting. They have published in literary journals such as Calyx, Persona, Phoebe, Girlfriends, Happy Magazine and the anthology Out of the Ordinary, Childrenof LGT Parents,  as well has having multiple theatrical productions of their plays. They are best known for their web series Assigned Female at Birth, all three seasons now you YouTube.

Their most recent awards include the 2021 NE Film Star Award as well as 13 film festival awards for  Assigned Female at Birth.

In 2018 they won Best in Fringe at the San Francisco Fringe for the one person show My Preferred Pronoun Is We (AKA Many Trump Refugees in One Body), in 2017 the Moth Story Slam and 2018 the Boston Story Slam. Some other awards include: the 2015 Meryl Streep Writers Lab for Screenwriters and the 2002 Stanley and Eleanor Lipkin Prize in Playwriting.

For more information or to book a performance or talk, visit http://www.lyralenkaye.com.  

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What Readers Are Saying

*****
I first encountered Skylar Lyralen Kaye on a stage at Storytelling Lisboa, and if you’ve ever seen them tell a story live, in Lisboa or out in Ericeira, you already know the particular quality of presence they bring. There’s something about the way they hold a room. So when BachelorX landed in my hands through our community, I wasn’t surprised it hit the same way. What I didn’t expect was how much further the book would take me.
I don’t usually pick up memoirs expecting them to make me rethink the way I understand identity, trauma, and what it actually means to be ready for love. But that’s exactly what BachelorX did.
Skylar Lyralen Kaye (fae/they) is a sixty-something sober nonbinary social justice artist who, after 35 years in a nearly sexless marriage, finds themselves newly single and absolutely determined to have sex before they die. The hook alone would have been enough, but what makes this book genuinely extraordinary is the way it’s told: through a chorus of inner voices. Kaye is plural, meaning they have multiple personalities, and the book gives all of them a seat at the table.
And what a table. There’s MICAH, a horny sixteen-year-old who communicates almost exclusively in all caps and has strong opinions about everything. There’s Girlchild, tender and empathy-soaked and heartbreakingly earnest. There’s Kaye, the keeper of the inner voice, who always knows something the others don’t want to hear. And there’s Kara, who will absolutely give you her Snoopy fan club address if you ask nicely. These aren’t gimmicks. They’re real, and Kaye writes them with so much warmth and specificity that by the end you’ll find yourself genuinely rooting for each of them individually. The book also weaves the myth of Orpheus and Eurydice throughout, and Kaye earns every bit of it.
I should say: I’m not plural. But I’ve been doing Internal Family Systems therapy for three years now, and reading this book felt like looking at a magnified, vivid version of something I know intimately. IFS is built on the idea that we all have parts, inner voices with different needs, fears, and ages, and that healing comes from getting to know them rather than trying to silence them. Kaye’s inner world is more populated and more complex than most, but the underlying truth is the same one I’ve been sitting with in therapy: that when you stop fighting your parts and start listening to them, something shifts. Reading BachelorX was a reminder of how much that work matters, and also, honestly, how far I still have to go.
And while I’m being honest: I’m queer, and I still learned things from this book about gender language and identity that I hadn’t encountered before. Kaye moves through neopronouns, nonbinary experience, and plural identity with so much ease and zero condescension that it never feels like a glossary. It just feels like someone telling you about their life. That’s harder to pull off than it sounds.
What sets BachelorX apart is its radical refusal to pathologize. Kaye writes about being plural with the same matter-of-fact pride they bring to being nonbinary or queer. The book is a full-throated argument that neurodivergence can be a superpower, that trauma survivors contain multitudes (sometimes literally), and that healing is not linear, not quiet, and definitely not Instagram-friendly. There are sections here that would crack most writers open. Kaye writes about childhood sexual abuse, parental cruelty, and decades of celibacy with a directness that feels like testimony rather than confession. It’s also, somehow, very funny. The dating disasters, the inner committee arguing in real time, the sheer audacity of MICAH. You’ll want to read parts out loud to someone.
If I had one critique: the book’s emotional intensity is unrelenting, and there are stretches in the second half where the pace gets dense with inner-voice dialogue. For some readers that’s part of the texture; for others it might require patience. It’s a feature, not a bug, but worth knowing going in.
BachelorX is one of those rare books that exists in a category of its own. It’s a love story, a trauma memoir, a queer manifesto, a comedy, and a genuinely original structural experiment all at once. Kaye has written something that makes you feel like you’ve been given a courageous and uncensored window into what it looks like when someone actually does the work of becoming whole.
Read it. Keep up with the inner voices.
Priscia Tiemi, Goodreads

“Some memoirs are compelling because of the writer’s absorbing story and unique writing style. In others you learn intriguing things about a life that is quite different from yours. With still others, the writer offers a courageous and uncensored window into the way their internal family members interact, the impact of early abuse on them, and how those parts interface with their external world. In Kaye’s funny and poignant book, you get all those things and more!”

Dr. Richard Schwartz, PhD

Author of You Are the One You’ve Been Waiting For and Internal Family Systems Therapy

I didn’t know what to expect when I picked up BachelorX, mostly excited to read a memoir by a fellow nonbinary person. Well, what a surprise! The book is exceptional: the writing, originality, and authenticity of it hit me straight in the feels. All authors write and publish. The good ones have their own voice, but never had I read a novel with such a plurality of voices so well distinct and depicted…which makes sense with the story (no spoilers).

Despite dealing with horrific abuse and trauma, the story is almost completely centered on healing. Rather than triggering, I found it inspiring and full of hope. The voices weaving the narrative created a profound sense of kinship with the reader, or at least with me, and I felt encouraged and seen in my own struggles.

Regardless of the nonbinary or trauma aspects, I found the memoir’s dating and relationship angles incredibly insightful and relatable, likely to most people.

A wonderful read full of hope and certainly one of my top five this year.

Gaia Ammon

Author of Kirkus recommended An Italian Adventure

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A Can't-Put-It-Down Story of Absurdity and Heartbreak

Dive into Bachelorx: A Nonbinary Memoir and share this transformative story with your community.
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